Just Dreaming

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Saturday, February 28, 2004
 
A mean woman is completely useless.

 
Listening to the new Lambchop, that is the first of two advance CDs.. Except, it's putting me to sleep. Sounds like opium grooves. Except, I don't really like opium.

 
Would you be thankful for someone who showed you, a person you could be close to, then never be able to rely on? Is that a girl? What a disappointing experience she was.

 
Her loyalty, a lie. An untrue soul. Never a best friend, never true for life. Her sweetness faded to mud.


 
Sometimes, you've just got to make the best of an unhappy life. Fly away.............


Thursday, February 26, 2004
 
Oh Lord... Unfortunately **this** was true today (from a different horoscope.) I was wondering why I'd reacted so strongly to something earlier today. Yeah, that's it, it's the alignment of Pluto and Mercury. I don't care if it makes sense or not, some of that stuff works.:

You will tend to get angry, to exchange unkind words with your circle. You will be critical and sometimes malevolent. Watch out for spiteful acts. You will have difficulty controlling yourself.

 
Ha, *this* is why I like to read my horoscopes. Only a couple of the best ones. You have to shop around. Anyway, this is today's:

Thursday, February 26, 2004
Apprehensions about work and difficulty in sleeping might leave you vulnerable to depression and mood swings. Do not worry; things are not as bad as you think.

See what I mean?! That's kind of cool.

God, I miss that girl. How could anyone resist some sweet person always trying to make you feel better when you're feeling blue........ Why would you ever want to give that up.

 
It's amazing how much a guy can miss just a friend/girl. Didn't even sleep with her (she was in no position to.) this doesn't make sense. There was no wild lovemaking with her to remember, and yet, I still miss her... That girl.

 
She: I've been thinking, and you're just not my type.
He: (In a terribly delayed reaction) Oh, OK fine. F*** off then.


Wednesday, February 25, 2004
 
Sometimes, you'd think I was a dog who'd been beat or something... I just don't seem to expect someone to treat me really good. Or if if they do, I expect it won't last..... Yeah, I have the emotional make-up of a beat dog!

 
Although I think it could be a combination of not being with the right person for each of those roles, and the fact that I'm probably a tough match. "Hard to live with." Yeah, well....

 
It's strange knowing that I don't know what I want. I've tried marriage, boyfriend/girlfriend, and simply friends with a woman, and none of them worked out in the end. Hmm. Girlfriends tend to be clingy. Marriage can be a real hassle. And just friends can be too distant. So, I'm not even sure what I want, even given the alternatives....Hmmmm.

Although, I'm thinking that maybe knowing I don't know what I want, is better than *thinking* I know just what I want. Those old, tired dreams. "If only I was married." Yeah right. "If only her and I were best friends." As if you can rely on anyone. "What a great girlfriend she'd make." Yeah, if you want to spend every waking moment with *anyone*!