Just Dreaming |
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Saturday, November 10, 2001
 Quitting Oh yeah! I�m listening to a This American Life segment from 1995, called �Quitting.� Ha ha ha... This one woman is xpounding on the value of quitting things. I love it! I�ve quit a thing or two over the years... I love the idea of talking and talking about a particular topic, like this. Well, especially if I can talk by writing, or I can simply listen to someone else who I fairly enjoy listening to, talk about it.What a bunch of oddballs, on this program! I think I might grow to really like their archives..Joy, I picked up a few more library books today, at the Sellwood branch, which somehow I�d never been to before. Cool little retro library. . Oh, I have so many interesting facts sorts of books from libraries now!! I just did a quick count, and I�ve gone from 2 library books to 26 in the last few days. Now, this is more like it!! ;-) That little tiny branch today had a Throwing Muses CD I don�t think I�ve heard before, �Limbo,� too...Now, the T.A.L. segment, �Vacations,� of very bad vacations.. Ahh, �The compromise between two opposites which can never be made to work.� Yes, a marriage of opposites is doomed to failure. Awful alienation... I love to burn a candle when it turns cold and dark for the winter. I�m so tired tonight. I slept in this morning, after a long walk yesterday afternoon, I awoke with my legs legs throbbing. So, did I stay in, take it easy? No!! Five hours of outings and I�m still more worn out... Wow, this show is great!! I've switched to local radio now, (adding a bit here after my original post).. I've never heard this before! "Shaken Not Stirred", very weird, irreverant, and funny! Friday, November 09, 2001
Smooth Unsmiling Contentment Yesterday, my neighbor was giving me a hard time about being a 'smiley face.' OK, so maybe I was. I don't choose these things, they just happen. This morning, on the way in, I was vaguely thinking, "looks like maybe this won't be so bad after all," after so very much not wanting to get out of my comfy warm waterbed. I reached the only stop light on my route, which is just a couple blocks from my office. I was sitting there at the customary long red light, the first car in line to go straight ahead. I sensed myself spacing out, very much. I could sense the traffic movements with my peripheral vision. I was loving the mellow booming UB40, (from their new Cover Up album, in heavy playing rotation in my car still), just feeling the deep bass, and Ali Campbell's warm voice. I love my custom car sound system... Anyway, I started thinking I must look like some sort of spaced out zombie sitting there. I was completely still, and not smiling. Oh, how I was enjoying that moment though.... Could anyone have known the pleasure I was experiencing? No drugs, no hangover, nothing but smooth unsmiling contentment. It was all about the mood, and the music.  Mellow I sure could have layed in bed longer.... I woke up at 4:00AM, a couple hours too early. This time, instead of getting up, doing the treadmill, and feeling the fatigue of not enough sleep all day, I just layed there.. must have fallen back asleep. Then, I kept hitting my snooze button again and again.. Still I got in a little early, for my few hours of work this day.. My Kobos coffee warms me this crisp morning. Now, what does the weekend hold in store? I've decided to stay in my particular townhouse, so it looks like it's time to go ahead and unpack the rest of my boxes... The weather's supposed to change from sunny to rainy, and stay chilly. So I can see spending a lot of time enjoying the comforts of home. A nice candle nearby.. 3 & 1/2 days and absolutely no obligations to be anywhere in particular.. I love it. Thursday, November 08, 2001
Captive Ahh, I have to go somewhere tonight, a social and public place, and sit there for about an hour. Ugh. I suppose I will, but how will I survive it? It might be kind of hot. I won't be able to sit home and maybe choose some music for a CD. No, I won't be able to relax, I'll be surrounded by people. It's probably going to be fairly loud too. Well, these things don't happen very often.. I just hate being held captive, especially on my off hours!! Too many loud people want to blare themselves in one's direction... {Edit note: It wasn't so bad..} Desire Oh, I have a desire to comment on my friend's blog!! I am not sure if I will blog about a blog though? :-) Mmm, a friend can be so nice. I've been having the most excellent day today. Nothing really happening, but things just seem extra special. Oddly, people are reacting to me today as if I am a social person or something... male and female. Like these warm vibes are emanating from the in person me, today. A friend can make a difference, a real difference..... I had gone out in hopes of a few good photos, as I was witnessing this beauty all over driving at lunch yesterday, but had no camera with me.. Today, the sky has changed, so I am not so sure any of my few actual pictures will be very worthwhile. When I was taking one, a very red haired woman came over and started talking. She thought at the odd angle I was at (with my little digital camera) that I was putting drops in my eye or something! People always think I am doing weird things, or saying weird things!! Anyway, then she told me what I knew, that the same tree was much more beautiful in the sunlight of the last two days. I'd seen it. I knew. Wednesday, November 07, 2001
Disturbing Little Goblins That Ripley's "Book of Chance" (beat up hardback, 1982) really does have some interesting little tidbits in it. These strange little goblins could give a person weird dreams! Someone before me left these little clippies in the back of the book... Oh, and this fun fact, "Even hard-nosed scientists say there is more to astrology than chance...." Oh really?! Then We'll Know World Peace! Ha ah ha.... "How To Speak Hip," the album... Sounds like Beatnik Speak... I wonder how old Brian was when he heard this... and if he learned anything. :-)  About the Books Last night it was a little late to really read, by the time I went to bed. So that might colour my assessment a little.. I think this time's crop of books is kind of weak on "fun facts." I love books with odd or at least previously unknown facts, which seem interesting to me. The Ripley's "Chance" book doesn't have a lot interesting, from my first glances, not real surprising for Ripleys', to me.. I checked it out mostly for an odd photo of a big robot pushing an infant in a stroller. The book of the "New Eastern Europe" on further investigation, doesn't seem quite so interesting as it did on the new books shelf. When I was checking out, the lady at the counter pointed to a corner of Romania, lit up a little, and said she was from there. The HTML book, well, it's not that current, but I want to pick up a little as I go along, and I think I can learn a couple things there. The other books are pretty much for their pictures. I love to see interesting pictures and graphics. Those aren't really reading sorts of books though. Hmm... So, what, I got eight books yesterday, and I haven't a book exactly like what I set out to find. The Tigard library doesn't really have that much usually, plus I've used it quite a bit already. Ak, I think I'll have to go to another, maybe today, it's nice and sunny. I'm deeply fatigued though, after yet another earlier than I needed to wake up, followed by my treadmill (since I was up anyway.) Funny how books can look somehow more interesting in the library, and even pass a little perusal there, then invariably, when you get them home, some of them don't seem quite so fantastic. In their defense, I really didn't look at most of them at all last night. I forgot to mention the Alternative Music book, too. It seems pretty dry and antiseptic, but I like to read that sort of background material on bands I like, when I'm in the mood. Occasionally one can get ideas for something else to explore, too. Tuesday, November 06, 2001
 Tenderizer Damm, my legs feel like someone's been beating on them with a huge meat tenderizer. Wow, Van The Man. I'm about half-dead, but he's finding his way through to me now. Straight to the heart, music. One of my very few Van boots, and a very recent find, "Laughing In The Wind 1969 to 1975 Outtakes." "If I Ever Needed Someone" gave me tingles. Now, "These Dreams Of You"..."so real, so true." Little Finds Oh man, Van Morrison's (early 70's) outtake version of "I Shall Sing" is hot! Those horns!!! Whoa.. Just tonight, I've found the missing song to a set I sent my friend a while back.. Now if she still needs track 9, the longer version of "Tangled Up In Blue" from Blood On The Tapes, I've tagged it..  Light Reading and Viewing I finally got to the library for some lighter reading material....A person can go crazy without things to read when they're in the mood. Preferably you have different things for different moods, to an extent at least. I love wandering the aisles (well, the non-fiction aisles primarily) in any library, and just finding whatever looks interesting.. To look at, as reference, for interesting or amusing facts, and just to pass the time when one doesn't want to think a great deal. I love reading, in spurts and starts. Monday, November 05, 2001
Open The Shades!! Yes!! It's pouring down rain! I love it! Now there's a reason to open the shades! Finally, something besides boring plain grey... Plain grey with pouring rain!! Ooooooo, I think I hear thunder too... Hmm, now don't bring this PC down... Bif Naked Damm I like this new Bif Naked CD, "Purge".. I've been fumbling around for some music I'd love this morning, previewing and discarding cut after cut... And now, this album, yeah! She's got her own "cool." Still in progress, so far "You Are My Master" and "Story Of My Life" are a couple favorites...And "October Song." Ooo, her "real" name is Beth too... her and Beth Orton! (I don't like the single "I Love Myself Today", though. There are lots better songs on the album. Such a common phenomena.)  Distract Yourself That's the key.I did go out on my patio last night for a minute... It was cool and moist and coming from the skies. Must have been rain. Sunday, November 04, 2001
Trinkets Or Treasures Seems like more and more my Mom has populated their meandering farm house with all these sorts of trinkets, or odd little creatures. Today I took some time to walk around and photograph some of them. They're in virtually every room - - washroom, kitchen, mudroom, living room, dining room, bedrooms.. Just look around! You might find a pig, a cow, or a little white horse. Why? Why is it the females of this race can be sooo nice looking?? OK, well I have an idea of why..But still!! It's amazing... I felt amusingly like a PC expert this weekend, solving all my parents "brand new first ever touched PC" woes the last couple days. Let's see, their email and internet explorer croaked. All their desk top icons dissappeared. Oh, and their desktop changed to an ugly brownish colour. He he.. Well, all's A-OK now! Who knows how long that will last, but anyway, mission accomplished. The Luxury Of An Off Day I have the luxury of a pre-planned off day tommorrow.. Sometimes I think I would lose sanity without some extra days off now and then. A person needs to manage their sanity.. Kept Talking All day today, people have been talking to me, despite my own desire to just take a break, gather my thoughts, have some quiet time. I could think of maybe one or so person I would like to listen to, not actually talk to.. But I was visiting at my parents much of the day, and the visitors (actually I was the visitor, the mute one) kept wanting to talk, and talk, and talk. I would take a corner, and they would want to talk. Yes, I suppose I am a good listener. I like listening to people, and with my voice, I am somewhat sparing in my conversation, usually. However, oh, I desired silence.... Hmm, email with who I like is not the same, to me, usually. Email is so mercifully silent. Well, I have found at least three people I have emailed with over the years quite a lot, were quiet-voiced people, too.. :-) When will everything come together? I think, logically, it will. But when, how, who? The other thought would be, it won't. Hmm, that seems a lower possibility though. I spoke with a man, who bought my old car when I was buying my CVR (last year)... He told me of his painful divorce, and how he had lived 7 years before meeting his current wife, who he loves dearly, and who he apparently has a much stronger, more joyful marriage with, than his first wife... God bless those who find a strong marriage the first time... It can happen the second time, though, for those not so fortunate the first time, and does for many.  Not The First OK, so it's not the first time, in my life, where my desired outcome doesn't exactly happen. At least, not then! Hmm, well, I suppose it's humbling.. Mmm, well, I have some reggae on tonight. For old time's sake I suppose. Although I am not in the sort of mood I used to be in then, oftentimes.. Hmmm... Should I be? It's some Joseph Cotton. My first listen to an album called "1976-1984 Dance Hall Days"..... I used to think dance hall was the death of reggae, pretty much. Turns out, maybe it wasn't quite. I've liked some of Cotton's stuff quite a lot before. so... As I cook up some dinner.... What is this, a stream of thought blog?? Oh damm, I have loved reggae soooo much in my life... Can't Control It Ugh, how flippingly boring! Sometimes, just occasionally, I would love to be able to influence the outcome... &@@##!! I wish all sorts of things!!! It's only evidence I am not exactly in charge of it all.... Flippling motherflipping, son-of-....Dammm!! Now it's really time for the long cold winter... Better break out the music, and whatever else I can find, which might comfort a man. ak. Oh well, how about a nice cold beer? I don't really enjoy those too often any more.. every week or two? Oh man... I had a funny middle of the night though... |
